The Limerical Life of Donald J. Trump

There once was a man from Queens,
A New Yorker with Aryan genes,
He was given his riches,
In eight year-old britches,
A multi-millionaire by his teens.

Donald altered his father’s last wills,
He inherited cash for his bills, 
With dodged taxes was paid,
Though he claimed being self-made,
The truth is he lacked business skills.

His businesses flailed but it wasn’t a bother,
For he reaped mass riches from his wealthy father,
He was born on third base,
Silver spoon in his face,
Sold books under his name he didn’t author.

He built up his brand and his name,
A land baron in New York who gained fame,
Had small roles in some movies, 
With reality TV groupies,
But most thought him to be quite mundane.

 “Obama’s a foreigner,” Trump reprimanded,
“The president’s birth certificate,” he demanded,
But Barack wasn’t Muslim,
Nor of African custom,
But for Trump’s people he was forever branded.

With the press corps and Trump in attendance,
No one could have guessed his surprising ascendance,
When Obama then teased,
And Trump looked quite displeased,
He plotted and planned future vengeance. 

Obama’s jokes had the banquet hall rolling,
He was teasing the Donald and viciously trolling,
They all watched as Trump seethed,
Not one word had he breathed,
While he considered his presidential polling. 

Donald kept his political life rather stealth,
With old age he showed diminished mental health,
He had visions, you see,
Running the land of the free,
Even after he lost most of his wealth.

Conservative politics was rather foolhardy,
A political base poisoned by the Tea Party,
The party of Scrooge
A Republican stooge,
Chose the man with small hands who liked to say “huuuge.”

Shocking the presidential ticket,
Even with no birth certificate,
A toupee full of dreams,
Lots of ambition it seems,
Yet few believed him legitimate.

Defeating Lyin’ Ted and Slow Jeb,
He set his sites on Miss Clinton instead,
He riled his bases,
Many scorned other races,
Civility in politics appeared to be dead.

At his rallies he filled thousands of seats,
He named all his enemies with angry gripes and mad bleats, 
 “A stable genius,” he claimed,
But his fans ran untamed,
And some support those in white linen sheets.

He was a snake oil salesman, and not much more,
But stirring the nationalist pot made his followers roar,
They riled the base,
Played cards based on race,
While Clinton, many thought, was a bore.

Voters didn’t want to see Clinton’s ascent,
Trump won lacking the majority’s consent,
With electoral cheats,
Fueled by noxious tweets,
Trump became America’s 45th president.

The Clinton supporters were crushed and lamented,
And Trump quickly went after the undocumented,
The dreamers once again,
Lost their dreams to Trump’s pen,
And citizenship was no longer presented.

And those from abroad, like Somalia and Iran,
Fell under Trump’s unlawful new Muslim ban,
They were all sent back home,
To the lands that we drone,
And once again the flames of hatred we fan.

Charlottesville showed us for who Trump is rooting,
While black Americans are labeled for riots and looting,
Racial bias one sees,
Even against refugees,
And with each passing week another police shooting.

He pulled out from Iran and the nuclear deal,
Even with a prevalent UN appeal,
They thought Trump a joke, 
And his threats did evoke, 
International scorn for the idiot heel.

In one of Trump’s boldest acts of defiance,
He abandoned Kyoto and America’s compliance,
For most of Trump’s folks
Climate change was a hoax,
Filled with conspiracy theories and no science.

And healthcare too was under attacks,
Trump wished to see Obamacare cutbacks,
Against our best interest,
And seemingly witless,
Obama’s protections made way for less tax.

The richest Americans were given a break,
While the rest of the country Trump seemed to forsake, 
The rich paid much less,
While Trump threatened the press,
And said that all media in the country was fake,

“Only Fox News has got the story straight,”
“Facts are not facts unless so I state,”
Trump lacked a moral tone,
For we thought it was known,
Freedom of press was the core of our state.

Many thought Trump wanted to leave office and quit,
And that he was seeming to be mentally unfit,
“Fake news!” he decried,
While the rest of us sighed,
Two to six more years of this bullshit.

Trump’s administration appeared to lack reason,
As some in the country accused them of treason,
Trump’s tweets spit out venom,
When they called him a felon,
While the Feds were putting the squeeze on. 

Trump took suspicion and lots of bad flak,
For Russia’s invasive election hack,
He fired James Comey,
A conservative homey,
To try and keep the feds off his back.

He whined that his treatment was truly unfair,
For it was the Clintons that they should ensnare,
“Liberals let her off easy,”
He said making us queasy,
But collusion with Russia is an impeachable affair.

Putin and Trump some saw in cahoots,
It got in the way of Russian-American disputes,
But for Trump it was clear,
That for Putin he cheered,
And American interests were tossed down the chutes.

Trump’s treatment of women was unquestionably poor,
Thousands marched on the streets to condemn and deplore,
Me Too was born,
Trump’s actions were scorned, 
Celebs were outed for acts we abhor.

We lost comic heroes and notable actors,
Due to inappropriate actions, and their detractors,
But for president Trump,
A misogynist chump,
He was among the unapologetic malefactors.

The Supreme Court was never so divided,
Trump has two judges who are very one-sided,
We could lose Roe Versus Wade,
As impartial justice is unmade,
And we’re stuck feeling very misguided.

He blames China for losing on trade,
And immigrants for jobs gone unpaid,
Those of color and Dems,
And emasculating femmes, 
‘Disempowering white men,” is his fascist tirade.

Our legacy depends on our actions of note,
We’ll all have to look back on the history we wrote,
Our civic duty does call, 
To assure the future of all,
So everyone please get out there and vote!